2/26/2013

A weighty issue.

Dotted Top: Forever 21, $13.80
Sweater: Forever 21, $6
Jeans: Kohls, $30
Shoes: Old Navy, $17
Purse: H&M, $28
Necklace: Forever 21, $6



Why did I wait so long to get a polka dotted top? Every morning I wake up and ask myself, what will I pair with my dotted top today? It's all I ever want to wear. So I bought another one, when I went thrifting yesterday (and by thrifting I mean I went to a consignment store and paid $21 for just two items...), and now I have two dotted tops. I figure I will just switch between the two every day for the rest of my life. Hope that's okay with you. No?


One thing about being a style blogger is that I have to look at photos of myself every single day. It's tough. That might sound silly, but for most of my life, I've had the reoccurring desire to attain "perfection", starting with so many other areas in my life, and ending with my body. It's hard to constantly remind myself that a) I've lost about 50 pounds & should be proud of that, b) I'm healthier than I've ever been and c) I do not have to look like a Victoria's Secret model in order to be attractive to myself and to my husband, which are the two opinions that matter most. 

I always thought "Once I reach xxx weight, I will never say anything negative about my body ever again!". That was ten pounds ago. And guess what? I still could find plenty to say. I used to get mad when I'd hear thin women complain about what seemed to be minuscule flaws in their body, but I get it now. I (like so many other women) seem to have this messed up perception of how far we are from "perfect". Like any flaw at all is completely unacceptable, and thighs that are slightly bigger than desirable are "thunder thighs" and a stomach that's not quite as flat as the wall is "a tire". And perfect is so subjective anyway. To the runway, it's 5'11 and 110 pounds, no chest or curves to speak of. To the average guy's magazine, it's a busty, curvaceous, blonde bombshell. Such stark contrasts! And God bless the women who naturally look like either of those things (because I'm certainly not hatin' on the females that are just gorgeous by nature!), but to set the standard that this is what beauty looks like means that for all of us that don't look like that, we have to change. Even if we're healthy. Even if we thought we were happy. 

I guess this is also kind of triggered by the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated that I saw and flipped through at the store the other day. Within seconds, I felt incredibly insecure and unwomanly. And after that, I got mad. I am so sick of society having a say over what I think about my body. I am so sick of the stronghold they keep over women, chanting "Work harder! Get thinner! Eat less! You can be perfect, too!". I know this can all get really hairy and heated, because we all are the ones deciding what we choose to believe in and let affect us, but this is me, being real. And this week, it's been tough looking at photos of myself.

</end awkward personal rant.>

Nicole is doing a really awesome series kind of similar to this post this week. I was going to write for her but never got the chance... you should check it out!

Also, this is seriously, seriously not me trying to fish for compliments. Please don't take it that way. I'm just sharing what's on my heart tonight, maybe in hopes of reaching other pretty ladies who sometimes don't always feel so pretty. I know I'm attractive. How's that for fishing for compliments, huh?! I'LL JUST COMPLIMENT MYSELF! </end self-gratifying statement.>

27 comments:

  1. I so agree with this post, and how we girls see ourselves as imperfect or not acceptable because we don't strut the runway or grace swimsuit magazine covers. I'm a naturally thin girl and I know, on a physical level, many girls envy me because of that. And that is something I've always struggled with because I don't want to feel guilty for being genetically given the "slim" gene. But at the same time, I don't know that I've ever truly been happy with myself or my body. It's always, "I wish I had bigger boobs," or "I wish I was taller," or "Why did I have to be born with this crooked nose?" And it's so hard to look at myself and not compare me to other girls who, in my opinion, are far prettier than I'll ever be, and not feel depressed or insecure. And it's harder right now because break-ups just bring all that crap to the surface like salt in an open wound. But I'm trying to dig past all that superficial things and realize that I am great just as I am, and that I have to be happy with what God gave me, because I'm unique and there is no one like me. Ok, now I'm done! Haha! Sorry for the long comment!!

    Shanna
    http://cheapersideoflife.blogspot.com

    And P.S., not to stroke your ego or anything, but you are absolutely beautiful and your husband is an incredibly lucky man. In my opinion, you are perfect just the way you are!

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  2. I commented earlier today, but I just have to comment on this post now! You are BEAUTIFUL! I stumbled on your blog today and couldn't get over how gorg you look in every freakin pic! I am horrible at taking pics for my blog and having to thumb through them. Cringe worthy I feel like sometimes, so props to you for doing so! Seriously though. You rock, keep looking effortlessly perfect girl


    Lacey
    sunnyandturquoise.blogspot.com

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  3. Such a cute outfit!
    Love your post today! It's so easy to be pressured by media and society, thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    xo
    Caroline

    lovecarolineblog.blogspot.com

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  4. I was uploading pictures today and it was the same process as always: which pictures makes me look the least chubby? which one covers my chubby cheeks the most? how can I hide my gummy smile? I hope no one notices the awkward shape my legs are.

    :(

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  5. It can be hard to not be self critical, especially when seeing so many great blogging beauties each day. We both know we were created in God's image, and that I think can be a great reminder when determining beauty :)
    Ginny
    mynewfavoriteoutfit.blogspot.com

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  6. I hate being so hard on myself and looking at a Victoria's secrect catalog or SI swimsuit issue makes me feel the same way. I don't know why we cant just be happy the way we are. you pointed out a lot of great things. you should also do a weight loss journey post. would love to read all about it.

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  7. 1. I LOVE this outfit. You were smart to get a second polka dot blouse...they are so in right now and I don't think it's a trend that's going anywhere...they look great paired with so many things.
    2. I totally hear you on the body issues...there are just too many "perfect women" in society to compare ourselves to. I know you're not fishing for compliments, but you look AH-MAZING and sounds like your husband knows and appreciates that!

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  8. A style blog is so personal! And it open to anyone to view and judge. I don't like having my face in my photos because I'm always pulling a stupid expression or my hair is a total mess. But it also gives me a bit of a safety net. I don't feel like I'm exposing myself as much. But although we are striving for our version of perfection, just remember that we are already perfect to someone else. Ok that sounds super corny! But I'm sure you get my point.

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  9. Just for the record blog world, I know Lynette personally and she has beautiful woman thighs. They add an extra feminine softness to her beautiful, enviable physique. We are our own worst critics! Own them, girl! They look especially nice in skirts and fitted jeans. You so silly.

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    1. YOU'RE MY BFF SO YOUR OPINION DOESN'T COUNT! <3

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    2. Jk. Love you. You're so sweet. <3

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  10. My problem with society's view is that it's always an extreme. At one point, thin was considered beautiful. Then there was backlash, and now there's this idea that there's absolutely nothing wrong with being plus size (and that the Dove women are the epitome of beauty). Why aren't we focusing on HEALTH?! Neither the insanely thin nor the obese are healthy! I've stopped ragging on myself for my thunder thighs (I bet you mine are bigger than yours) and started ragging on myself for not exercising more. As long as you are taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually, there is nothing get down on yourself for. I don't think I've ever excelled in all three areas at once, even in the physically best shape of my life.

    I also love that I read this post tonight rather than waiting until morning. Tonight I started getting down on myself because I've been reading too many criticisms on forums about bloggers not putting enough time into their hair and/or makeup. I am guilty of this. I blow dry my hair and call it a day. I put on mascara and eyeliner because I feel like I can get away without doing anything else. But then I spend a few minutes blog hopping, and I find myself getting down on myself yet again. Le sigh.

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    1. Oh, and I love the polka dot under the sweater :)

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  11. It's funny and refreshing to me to read that you have body issues. I say that because just the other day, I was talking about your blog to my friend Brittany and referred to you as the "pretty one with a cute outfit?". I hate the way society makes women feel about their bodies too, it's really unfair because so many different types of people/bodies are gorgeous!

    As far as having 2 polka dot tops? You can never have enough, they look classy paired with so many things! I'm loving this outfit, as always!

    Ps. Way to go losing 50+ pounds and getting healthier!

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  12. Congrats on losing 50+ pounds Lynette- that is fantastic and you should be SO proud of that! How did you lose the weight? You go girl!
    Valerie
    www.the-style-files.com

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  13. i know you're not fishing for compliments, but you deserve them. you're gorgeous [and funny as heck on top of that, btw] and posting posts like this one really helps people that are still struggling with their body image. we as women need to hear that we're beautiful no matter what we look like, as long as we're healthy. i love fashion and clothes because they cater to so many body types. i look around and i see what society calls overweight women absolutely ROCKIN' it in what they're wearing. it's all about attitude and how you FEEL about yourself. so kudos to you, for getting healthy, feeling that you look good, and also saying what needs to be said.

    -natalie-
    thesecondbestblog.com

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  14. Amen, sister. I'm constantly criticizing my blog pics (OMG my arms look GIGANTIC!, OMG BAD ANGLE), and don't even get me started about the comparisons that happen in barre class with the 40yo stay-at-home moms who have ROCKING BODIES that I feel completely flabby next to. And then I realize, you know what? I look like me, and there are people who think I'm pretty hot (mainly, my husband and my mom - details). We all go there (whether we admit it or not). And for the record, I think you're gorg, so that's one more person on your side. ;)

    Also, you know me and polka dot tops - obsessed. I have, like, a million. And I love them all. Every time I buy another one my husband is like, "um, don't you already have that?" And I don't. I just have one LIKE it in another color. Oops.

    xo
    See Mo Go.

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  15. I struggle with the same issue... I almost hate looking at photos of myself everyday because sometimes I felt good about what I looked like that day, then we take pictures and I think "I looked like that?!" "I look chubby" "My makeup and hair sucks"... it could go on and on. I am trying to be better about it, but it is hard when you have a style blog and are constantly looking at other style bloggers, celebrities, etc. It makes it hard to not compare yourself and wonder, "why can't I look or be that perfect?" I'm glad you posted this because honestly I feel this way a lot and I've been struggling with my weight for the past year. I gained over 10 lbs and ignored it for awhile and I'm finally trying to be healthy again.

    Anyway... sorry for blah blah blahhing all over your blog. You are seriously drop dead gorgeous and have an amazing body! And I love your style... You are one of my new favorite blog reads! In my opinion, you are just as sexy as those VS models. For realz.

    I'll stop talking now. I love your polka dot top BTW!

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  16. GIRL, I am so selfishly glad you wrote this, because knowing that I'm not the only one who has negative thoughts every time I take my pictures. Honestly, realizing in this last month or two what I've let law school and stress and fast food do to my body are half the reason I've been in my gigantic ongoing blogging slump - I just don't enjoy it right now. But in other news, youza supermodel. So when inside Lynette tries to tell you otherwise, let my little voice be there to kick her ass :)

    Samantha @ Sam ipsa Loquitur

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  17. I just recently started following you and I have to say this is one of my favorite outfits so far! I love the pink paired with the darker polka dotted shirt. And those jeans are amazing. You look adorable!

    Looking at photos of yourself every day is difficult. I just posted some from an event I went on Sunday night and the first thing I noticed was that instead of my triceps looking buff they looked like big ol' blobs. But then I realized that no one but me is looking at my triceps. Everyone else is looking at my awesome dress :-) Which is why I firmly believe that dressing in items that make you feel good will totally change your outlook. And you look GOOD :-)

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  18. wow this sweater is amazing, in love with your hair!

    www.lessismoreblog.com

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  19. You are amazing, love your honesty and lately I have been feeling that way too. I started p90x just to get in shape, but now i am focusing on my intake of food and how I feel. I don't want it to take over, I just want to get fit. I love the way you look, and we all have flaws so it is ok to have your own, but def. work on loving yourself, as I will do the same too! Thanks Lynette for being you!

    XO Chelsea
    http://shesaidhesaid-fashion.blogspot.com/

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  20. Great article. You are absolutely right about not looking like a Victoria's Secret Model..you are gorgeous! keep up the great look. Your blog is very inspiring. Thank you!

    http://missrenaaye.blogspot.com

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  21. You are gorgeous and have a great body! I definitely know what you mean though...I'm 5'9" and thin, so I feel like I should look like a VS model, but unfortunately I don't and that's the reality for 99.9% of us. I loved reading this post!
    And onto your outfit...can't believe your sweater and top are both F21...they are SO cute and I love this shade of pink on you!

    ~Jacy

    www.laviedelenore.blogspot.com

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  22. I totally understand where you are coming from. All my life I was naturally thin and fit because I played sports all through highschool and college. Now that I'm getting close to 30 my weight keeps increasing and I'm having to fight much harder to maintain the body I want. I've lost 5 pounds in the last 3 weeks and I'm still looking at the mirror hating on certain aspects of my body. I will admit, I do weigh more than I ever have. I do need to do something about it, but I don't need to hate myself for it. Thanks for sharing that you can relate - even though it may not change the way we feel about ourselves, it helps to know that there are other people out there going through the same thing.

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  23. I'm so so so glad you wrote this post. I've been having a lot of these issues lately and am so glad you spoke up and let me know I'm certainly not alone :)

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  24. Girl, I hear you. I had a baby in the fall, and I have good days and bad days when it comes to my body image. On one hand, I am proud of my progress with weight loss and "bouncing back," but on the other hand, I fixate on the smallest imperfections and can't seem to let them go. You are not alone!

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